Claustrophobia of the Soul

As I sit here my hands are trembling for reasons that I cannot explain.  My breath is catching in my throat and tears are brimming within my eyes.  My emotions are clawing for my attention, for my help, but I am at a loss, for words and also for what to do.  And so after many recent days of this uncontrollable emotional breakdown of sorts I have crawled back to the only place that has ever made sense to me, even if the words rarely make sense themselves.  I'm unsure what I believe I can find here, on this empty page only consisting of a blinking cursor that only seems to mock me after so many futile attempts to explain how it is that I am feeling.  I'm unsure that there are even words for this type of feeling.  It's almost as if I'm experiencing claustrophobia of the soul... I just feel so trapped within myself, and I cannot get away.  I can't get out of this box that I have drawn myself into.  There is no getting away from who I have allowed myself to become.  That sounds like a bad thing, like I've let my life, and myself, go to hell, but that's the most confusing part of this saga.  I like who I am.  I like who I have become.  I've finally found a place where I am happy with the decisions I make, the people that I choose to surround myself with, and the things that I am doing.  Life is not perfect, and a lot has changed lately, but somehow I'm still me.  I'm still independent and hard-working and loving.  I am still dependable and honest.  I've reached a place where where I am and what I'm doing somehow have nothing to do with who I am.  I am me regardless of where I am, who I'm with or what I'm doing.  But I still feel like I want to run away from me.  And unfortunately, I am the only person I cannot get away from.  Because every time I run, I'm there.  And my soul is beginning to shatter, ever so slowly because I still want to get away.  I just need to figure out what it is that I need to get away from.