mistakes are for fuckups
did i seriously give in
have i lost this game
was there a way i could win?

lose a friendship
gain a sense of love

so i don't even know how to feel right now... i have the best and worst of things happening all at once and i've tried to ignore it as best i could but i just can't anymore. i just can't keep going on knowing that i'm hurting my best friend in the world... knowing that she is going to move across the country and probably hate me for the rest of my life because i stole the boy that she first had sex with. i still can't believe that she's actually leaving. i've known for how long that this was going to happen...but it was never real to me. she was always going but it was always so far in the future and now i'm sitting here realizing that she will be gone in 2 days. 2 days. that seems so final. like the day she leaves it's all going to be over. and i don't want to sound like a pessimist but isn't it? won't it be over once we can't see each other every day or laugh at stupid random shit together? it won't ever be the same again... it can't be. i love her to death and i don't want her to go but i know she has to. gotta run tho.

live it up and let go,
Jenny